Am I a Hindu?

I was born a Hindu, and had no choice in the matter. As an adult Ihave had no doubt in my mind that to me, personally, god, idols,temples or pilgrimages have no meaning at all. Yet, I have neverrefused to go to a temple or participate in a puja along with myfamily, mainly because I believe that religion serves a purpose, itgives meaning, hope and direction to the lives of a lot of people andI should not do anything to take this away from them.

But as religious extremism gains acceptability across socio-economicgroups - from the poorest to the richest culminating in events as theyhappened in Gujarat - I am forced to rethink and take a stand. I knowthat the stand may not have large-scale ramifications but I also knowthat it will have significant impact on my two children and may havesome bearing on the lives of a handful of people close to me.

Is there something in common across diverse ideas, for each one ofthem to be identified as religion? It is not a distinct socialphilosophy of life, otherwise existentialism and many othersignificant philosophies of life would qualify as religion. It wouldappear to me that the philosophy not only has to answer the questions- What is life? What is the meaning of it all? How should I live? -but answer them convincingly to a large group of people, in a way thatit appears to be the only right answer. These people can theninstitutionalise the philosophy to be the only right one, and make agod out of the proponent of the thought.

It is unlikely that any one religion or institution of thought hasanswered all the questions perfectly, because then there wouldn't be aneed for another group of thought to emerge. If the questions wereanswerable in simple, accessible terms, then the almost impenetrableideas that are found in Zen or Vedantic literature would be laughable.It would appear to me that the basic questions are either unanswerableor at least cannot be transmitted.

And hence, anybody who is supposed to have the answers becomes anobject of worship and the followers will pray to him, his book, hisidol, his grave, his tree, whatever is supposed to be connected withhim. This worship is bred out of either greed of knowledge and favoursor the fear of having breached some code of conduct, and sometimes outof respect for having found the answer.

Like every other human institution, religion also must survive, andwhat better way to survive than to grow - by either having a newgeneration of believers or by converting others. Fear and greed arethe two most powerful human emotions and religious institutionsmanaged by humans are unlikely to be untouched by these emotions. I amtold that you can jump the line of devotees at the famous Vaishno Devitemple by bribing somebody at the temple administration.
With time, some of these philosophies become inaccessible to thecommon man who has to work hard to survive, so the institutionreinterprets and simplifies them, and provides access to god.Ultimately, the institution is managed by humans and like all otherinstitutions, it must do everything to maintain its hegemony, dealwith the corruption that is bred by the amazing power it has overpeople, fight off any school of thought that threatens its pride ofplace. Is that the reason why Buddhism was driven out of mainlandIndia? It is unlikely that Rama or Krishna had a personal problem withthe peace-loving Gautam.

The human fear of emptiness and meaninglessness knows no bounds. I'dsuspect that it is the primal human characteristic. Even death is atransition into meaninglessness and emptiness. And any idea or thoughtthat allays this fear is likely to have a huge influence on humanconduct. The desire for power, riches, fame and immortality are also an attempt to escape meaninglessness.
Religion provides a priori meaning - god said so, or it is written inthe book - ranging from first cause, what to do, what not to do, andalso remedial action if you have done what shouldn't have been done.Even though humans can't control their lives and circumstances, withthe help of their religion they know who does, and what can be done toinfluence the controller of the universe. No wonder religion has suchamazing hold over people.

I find it foolish to believe that there is one or two or a thousandgods out there who control our lives and script our destiny. If hewishes for me to pray to him to change my circumstances and destinythen he must be hugely egoistical, self-centred and prone to flattery- hardly the attributes of somebody I would like to respect, leavealone pray to.

It is another matter that I don't have a pressing need to get mycircumstances or destiny changed. I can understand how seductive theidea is for someone who is less fortunate. The idea of going to atemple or worshipping his idols, or his tree or any other thingassociated with him is even more meaningless than the meaninglessnessitself.

In any case, if he exists then the world has no option but to followhis direction - so this must be what he wishes. If god wanted tochange it, he can always have a rebirth or redeliver his sermon.Hopefully, this time it would be a little more idiot-proof so that thehumans don't go around killing people in the name of god. That musthurt him, shouldn't it?

Since god is unlikely to intervene, human beings are likely tocontinue being driven by fear and greed to exploit their fellow beingsin the name of whatever they can, including religion. For years, Ihave had a detached attitude towards religion and have stayed a Hinduby default. But under the current circumstances, I feel the need toassert my dislike of religion - dislike of religion and not humanthought.

- Ajay Jaiman
(The writer is CEO of a children's website, pitara.com)

First published as op-ed in Hindustan Times on 21 09 02